Sunday, April 20, 2014

J: You know you’re done for when you start writing poetry


Namaste Soya,

Sorry for taking so long to reply, school has been so hectic…fuck April… And I apologize for the really lengthy paragraphs of my life in the letter.  I just have so much fucking emotions inside and so much I want to tell you and update.

Aww… you screen capped and combined together our text-boxes where we were describing each other’s type!  I saved the image too, heehee, and let’s compare and if they fit when we found our ‘prince charming’ in the future!



I remember you spamming and bombing my phone that time when you talked to me about PA.  I woke up from my afternoon nap with 128 messages all from you!  How is the PA stalking going on now?  Are you still that excited about him cuz it seems like you have been talking less about him in messages?  I mean it’s cool to think that he is cool, and watch all the cool shows and makes cool art and all that jazz, but just don’t expect too much heehee.  High expectations will only lead to bigger disappointment.  (lesson well learnt..sigh) Oh well, PA is quite useful I’d say, for getting you off from WI.  You don’t talk about WI anymore and it’s a good thing!  And see, when you got to Chicago and you explore and experience your new life, it’s gonna be so much fun and so much excitement that you won’t care about WI anymore.  Perhaps to a point where WI to you is only a state, and you won’t correlate WI to the person!

Oh I kind of forgot how PA looks like, so can I see it again?  Just send it to me, lol don’t post it here gurl lol we have to have all identities kept secret and inclusive. 

And gosh, CNB is so creepy now.  Please, you don’t have to introduce us LOL.  He is way too much of a sexual creep, keep sexting you and sending you snapchats of his abs and pubes, relentlessly asking you to go over to cuddle and shower together, and keep sending the *fingerpointing* and *okaysign* emojis…Gosh, just chill dude. There’s ain’t no need to be that horny and needy-_- just go pay for some whoreservices or stuff like that or watch some porno and jerk off.  Stop bugging Soya with your inappropriate messages!  It might be fun at the beginning but he has just crossed the line, like way crossed the line.  He is not cute anymore with all that ‘nice nice cool cool woop woop lalalala’ shits.  He is gonna get so much shit in college if he still stays like that, he seems kind of try-hard to me lol I don’t know, can’t judge since I don’t know him.  But I mean from all the sexting and pube-y snapchats, you can kind of tell what sucky player he is.  Keep me posted on how he goes, lol I’m interested in seeing how he will end up! (And don’t sell yourself for his Starbucks Keurig machine! Just kidding hehee I know you won’t)


Even though you are meeting creepy people like CNB, it still seems a lot of fun, seeing you already texting so many of your future classmates!  You seem so excited about going to school in Chicago, well, I mean it’s your dream school and your dream, so yea, you must be excited.

And what’s with MC? Gosh, he is also creepy now. (why are guys all so creepy now, I just don’t get it)  Like how he posts his status in answer to your status about the ewhy bug in your room, and how he then copied and pasted that status to your comments is just gosh….and the fucking ultimatum -_- god dammit, I’m just gonna forget about it.  If he wants to come back, then just come back and we can be friends again.  If he doesn’t, well, it’s his loss.  Fucking immature.  Sorry for introducing him to you, he’s like bugging you now and shit like that.  Sigh, he should get a life, go find new friends and meet new people and do stuff, instead of staying at home and sulking and looking at the computer either playing dota or bugging people.  




So as you know, I have been hanging out with VKG a whole lot more recently.  He wants to hang out every other day. (and since he won’t be here next weekend, because he has to go to Chicago to do all his visa shits for his graduation trip to Europe, he wants to meet every day this week!) Gosh , I am really starting to like him and I am liking him a lot.  We hung out on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and I end up spending both nights with him! Kekeke I really like to be with him, it makes me so comfortable and happy, I couldn’t stop smiling.


VKG showed me this song:) 

And yesterday was so wonderful.  Even though he was kind of testing my patience with his terrible texting habits (see, both you and I, soya dear, are perfect texters), when he came, I just let everything go because I just couldn’t hold any grudges against him. We met at Java and grabbed coffee and studied for a bit, then we went to lay in the lawn and just chill, staring at the jet streams and flurry clouds, and listening to music and cuddling and making out on the grass J *monkeycovereyes* After that, we went to an Indian restaurant where he showed me some really good food, and then we sneaked into a fire escape and climbed to the top of the building.  Though some fuckers locked the gate to the roof L But it’s alright, we just laid on the fire exit and watched the sunset and talked and laid around.   The view of the city is so beautiful! Especially during sunset, the sky was a lilac haze and so soft I wish I could touch it. VKG and I talked about him leaving and our future and how the universe is messing with us with our timing that we meet each other, and then we both got quite sad.   Then he went to my room and we…well you know what we did :p *monkeycovereyes* and I think we are actually getting better at it and having more fun since we have quite a lot of practice and have gotten to know each other’s body quite well. 

And because on Thursday night when he called his parents, I kept teasing him and I was blowing him and touching him, he decided to retaliate when I called my parents last night. Gosh that was fun and I couldn’t stand it, I kicked him off my bed! lol
  

Then we went to a house party with some friends, which was pretty fun, and he was quite tipsy.  We missed the last bus so we had to walk back together, and well, that is when things started to go wrong.  We sort of argued, as you know.  He was upset that I wasn’t jealous when he was talking to other girls.  I really trusted him, so I didn’t feel jealous.  I thought it’s cool of me to not be jealous… of course, I felt a bit awkward, but I wasn’t mad at him or anything.  And I sort of told him that it’s fine
since we are just a one month thing and then he got mad and sad.  He said he doesn’t see this as just a one month thing, and he doesn’t want to leave and he doesn’t know what to do, and he doesn’t know what I want from him because I keep saying he will be gone in a month.  And then he fucking cried!  He said he is scared of how much he likes me, and I felt so happy and sad at the same time I didn’t know what to do and I was so helpless.  Gosh, I am such a lucky girl to have met him (or not since he is leaving)  He said he really really like me, but when I said I really really like him as well, he doesn’t believe me. I don’t know how to prove it to him.  And he started crying again when we got back to my place, and I held him and we fell asleep.  But this morning when we woke up, things seem fine and happy, so I guess it’s all alright for now.


And fuck me. I am so getting attached to VKG already, I don’t know how depressed we both will be when we part.  And you know how when you start to have words flow through you, and you start writing poetry about a guy, or love, or the loss of love for/from a guy, you know you are already done for.  I wrote my first poem about VKG a few days ago. I thought I could give the poem to him a few days before we part or something like that.  It’s quite long though, but I guess I could show you the last stanza?  It’s about him leaving in a month. 

If we could have met at a better time

Not in haste, nor impending goodbyes
Perhaps I wouldn’t have to miss you
Perhaps you could have stayed by my side.
This is getting so long, I apologize for that.  And I have to leave for dinne with XX now!  I am meeting her new bf tonight lol…she changes pictures so often ikr.
Oh well, have fun stalking!
Joshi




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