Sunday, April 13, 2014

J: Think I'm still drunken from my past 24 hours


Soya Lovely,

Sounds like you are having A LOT of fun stalking! heehee I know my bestie is the #1 radass wallflower stalker and heck yea, you are living up to it!  And a word of warning, this letter is impossibly long.



You are so adorable, babe! The way you swoon over PA and you haven’t even met him in real life J Who cares if he is a cocky ass douchebag in real life, if he is a yummy eye-candy, just eye him and eat him up as much as you want!  Just eyeing though, don’t fall just yet, because falling too fast is fatal and falling for douchebags is a slow torturous death.  But from your description and the picture I’ve seen of him (which I can’t really remember how he looks now actually, you can send me a picture of him again :p) he sounds very swoon-worthy!  And he is your type of guy, right? Heehee remember how I described your type?  (I don’t really remember exactly what I said, don’t know if you had taken a screen shot or not. But I can try describe it once again.)  Your type is rad, artsy, creative and cool, who appreciates the weird and the quirky, spontaneous and not clingy, either gay-looking or muscle-builder, messy hair and dreamy eyes, loves food and has great tastes in art, music, movies and clothes he wears.  Hmm and I think PA fits right into this category, no? (I bet you a drink that you are smiling to yourself now :D )

 (my gift to you heehee :D save it to use in chicago babe!)

And I think it is good that PA is getting you off WI! J (I like how the sentence made it sound like you were on drugs, oh well, love is a drug) You need a break from WI and PA seems to be a nice release.  And at least I think PA will appreciate artsy radness and won’t be just a muscle man like WI.  And I feel all your positive energy illuminating and radiating, and even affecting me!  Just, I’m sorry to be a bummer here, but I just got to say it again because I suck at doing it myself, just don’t fall too fast, don’t get too obsessed.  I don’t want you to get hurt. 

I know you are a little bummed by the fact that you couldn’t be at saic this weekend for the artbash event that they have, but no worries babe!  You’re gonna be here in a few months and you will be in the scoop of everything and you are going to be so artsy and do so much cool stuff when you are truly an art student studying in an art school!  And you seem to be making friends already and you know about the secret inside jokes that they have even when you weren’t there, so I’d say don’t worry babe, you will catch up fine! 

I have yet to watch Fight Club.  I know, it’s a classic, but I just don’t have much motivation in watching it.  I am not much of a Brad Pitt fan (he just doesn’t look
attractive to me at all), though I am a fan of Edward Norton.  Hmm, I’ll see if I will watch it and I’ll let you know if I like it!

Okay, so for me, I spend a lovely 24 hours with VKG this weekend and gosh it was lovely.  I really enjoyed myself.  He is really rad and cool and awesome, and the most important thing is, I think he really likes me and I am liking him more and more too!  He said he wished we could have started it earlier, and I said, yes, I wish we could have started hanging out earlier, not like 5 weeks before he will graduate.  And he said if he were a sophomore or a junior, he would have totally dated me.  And I said, me too.  And I promised him we will be exclusive fuck buddies for this coming month.  And he said that he thinks we are more than fuck buddies, he said he will call us a fling and he wish we could be more, but he knows long distance doesn’t work and it will be unfair for me.  But he also said we can just hang out and see how things go.  So, I don’t know, I am not expecting anything at all, I just want to have fun with him.



And I did have fun with him. He showed me pictures of his home in Bangalore, and I showed him Hong Kong.  He is fucking rich, he is at the top of the caste system, but gosh he is so grounded and chill and down to earth.  We sat on his roof and chatted, and started making out and his neighbors are having a barbeque party and they saw us and were cheering at us.  That was so fun!  And then we just lay on the roof and started at the sky and talked.  We went to get middle-eastern food for dinner, and we laid on the grass for a bit and then we went to watch the play, Slaughter City, together with XX and the French guy.  The play was boring, but my night was extremely fun! (Though I am on my period so we couldn’t really fuck, but all that other stuff that we did (I am leaving it at this or else it will be #tmi) just makes me so happy.  Then this morning when we woke at 9, it was raining outside so we just stayed in and lay in bed all morning and afternoon until 3, doing practically nothing but smoking pot and making out and other #tmi stuff.  He is such a cuddler… Kekeke:D And he lent me his hoodie to wear when I go back because it was raining, and I end up smelling him all day in every breath I take…goshhh the last 24 hours were lovely.

I think I am ready to let go of HHG even though he started texting me again these days.  XX said he wants me back, and I kind of think so too.  But during dinner just now, XX talked sense into me and she made me see things clearer and opened me up to accept how things are.  She asked me why HHG likes me, and I remembered him answering me he likes they way our bodies fit and how we fuck.  These are such surface sexual and bodily things that he likes.  VKG though, he told XX what he likes about me and he thinks I am cool and rad and have similar taste in music and short films like him, and I am down to earth and chill and not an attention seeker and all that.  Just from this, XX said, I can tell who is the guy I should go with.  I am just stupidly infatuated with HHG, which I should just let go of.  Because even if I go back to HHG, I won’t be happy because of the guilt I carry with me now.  She is right.  So I am going to let go of HHG, and I will turn him down if he invites me to fuck again.  Not even next semester.  XX said girls should have our own sass and ego, we can’t just crawl back to the guys and beg or be okay with it every time things goes wrong, and HHG has broken my heart so many times and made me upset so many times that he is just not worth it.  (Though I don’t know, maybe I am saying this because I am still drunken from my 24 hours with VKG)

(BUT I AM FUCKING DOING IT AND I AM HAPPY)

I should stop babbling on about my love life, and I should also not get attached to VKG because as much as we both hate it, he will be leaving in a month. (please help me with not getting attached, I can’t do it on my own) Okay, I am going to shut up now.  Oh, it’s Coachella weekend, and I wish so badly that we could go to Coachella together.  It will be SO MUCH FUN!   We got to go some time in our college years!

I have to head back to my reading of Go Tell it on the Mountain, I still have 97 pages to go, I ain’t never gonna make it before my class tomorrow…(but I felt like writing this letter so fuck it imma write my letter)  Have fun stalking and have fun with your buffet tonight!


Love always,
Joshi

P.S. I am listening to VKG’s Indie Rock Playlist on Pandora that he shared with me J
P.P.S I realized that love VKG’s laugh a lot.

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