I figured I rather use this blog more often than to have context "with substances" every time. And since it's summer time, and life is relatively chiller, here I go again HAHAHA.
First off, thanks for the birthday wishes :> 20 years out from the vajayjay phewwww (sounded like getting out of jailtime lol). Hhahaha I'm let that vjj ownwer know how glad you are of her effort in pushing me out of there :p Hahaha gurl you have no idea. How many people told me to get a bf along with their birthday wishes this year. It makes me wonder...am I really that dry and ennui? I should probably get a life...but I thought I had one. I thought I have one. Just didn't realize how emotionally-dry I left an impression in my fellow lovely friends minds the past year. Maybe my social network posts had been too emo? No idea.....gosh.
Just went to have dinner at this lovely restaurant with roommate Y hahaha. We were gonna go to this place called (...nvm. after 10-seconds of trying to recall the name, I give up.) But the restaurant section is closed on monday leaving only the bar side of it. So we got on über again to go to this other place we yelped. And that driver turned out to be the guy who drove us to the closed restaurant lol. Awkward, but fun hahaha. The place is super cute, has all the aesthetics my room (at least the table area) look up to, dark metal and dark woods and dim lightings and shits hahaha. They even offer event plannings and I was telling my company how this would be a cute little place to host weddings (our bill came with this postcard with an image of a peony bouquet that promotes their event plannings) parties with a small number of guests. Then I told her if I'm to do it there I will shut all the black curtains and light purple candles on the tables half-jokingly (there are black curtains and each table has a tiny white candle.) And she said she will wish me the best but ask me not to invite her lol. Anyways, nevertheless, it was a lovely dinner, with lots of talks on my non-existing love life lol.
Congrats sister ho! (Okay I now do realize it sounds like some nun thing lol). But despite their newly-got-tgt-couple-gooeiness I'm glad your sister found her happiness :) But wow boy do they move fast lol. At this rate you'll be picking your bridesmaid dress soon HAHA. So wait the guy is in HK? ...guess you will be passing your sis a tip or two on ldrs. Speaking of which, your hubby here is so kaixin (happy sounds too basic and the word glad is redundant 'cause I just used that couple lines ago. Anyway.) (I guess I just caught a glimpse of the chaotic mind an english major will be having in cultivating their languages.) I know it must be hard :| But hey you guys are meeting again soon :D! Wished he got a job in Chicago at least till you graduate so you guys could more easily spend time together :| But at least on the bright side, he too is in the States :) Lost track of how long had you guys been together it feels like forever? I need to meet this cute hunk of yours sometime! It's only fair to have your legit hubby meet with your affair at some point~
Oh. And tell me the story of their gooey Marry You song sometime when you got around. Hahaha. Lol.
Woopwoop lemme know how the job goes! And is that guy from Toronto cute? Hahaha. I am now super biased to liking things from Toronto. And yeah I am a very biased person that just came to recognizing that awhile ago, who should be ashamed of her unfairness of judgements but is shamelessly not and still totally biased towards most things in life. Bleh. Oh, and I was showing this guy to my friend over dinner just now, guy that I saw on buzzfeed earlier this morn. And she took one look and said he's totally my type. I asked how so, and she said of that long hair and ragged looks.
(so much on Westernized Asians hipsters ey lol
This is the kind of pics that got him on Buzzfeed tho *see below*)
I think people I like (crush) after getting into art school are very different and a lot more real than crushes I had before. Y said it's because I now know better about my likes and nots, but the annoying thing about that is, every time when I like someone now, I really really do like them a ton lot. (Speaking of which, this is my new fav band and here's their first song I got drawn to.)
Right after we stepped into the elevator from the apt., Y ask me if i had decided my mind of Boxers and John ('cause I was having the dilemma of not knowing if I really fell back in love with him or did I just got used to Boxer's existence after living together for 10 days and in-a-way sleeping-together for half of those days.) (sigh the good o'times when I first mention that guy to you lol I still remember it was on this blog hahaha.) Anyways, before collecting what my real thoughts are I had already decided that I will let her know I have nth towards Boxers anymore either way. Guess her shits did afterall got to me a bit ey? Anyways, on Boxers, to be very honest with you I still have these complicated feelings. On one side, I care a lot about him, more than I usually care about any of my ex-crushes and male friends or friends in general. And I care about him not less than how much I care about you and my other bestie in HK, and in a way I'd guiltily admit I care about him more, maybe because of his medical history and such, idk, but yah. Anyway. On the other hand, when I'm with him the tension is more than just family-like, like we claim. And all in all, I will honestly admit that the possibly-faluse-but-real feeling of emptiness and romantically longingness that he left me with and the slight sadness of his nonexistence in the first two weeks after he's gone back to his home country is finally starting to wear off. Not sure if this is really going into the way it actually is though, or if it's just because we are both lazy texters and knowing that I made zero to negative attempts in engaging online conversations with him esp. after he's gone. Since we are already onto this topic though, I was quite happy at the first few days when he was back there and he saw this thing and sent to me and said it's so me in the groupchat, and sent me this other collection of images he took and saw in an art exhibit that reminded him of me. That was quite dearing and sweet you gotta admit, and considering he was my (ex?) crush, well duh. lol.
John.
How do I even begin with him.
I know we aren't talking about him but I might as well tell you what I told my dinner company couple hours ago. Sigh. Okay. Here we go.
Okay. Yes. I don't think about him as much anymore. But oddly he will still hold the same place as he had occupied before. Tbh idk if you know but I'm really not the kind that fantasize about my future loverboi much. Yes I ask around my closest friends of their thoughts on that quite a lot but other than that I really don't think about it much. I don't even think about those after the conversation ends. To your surprise those thoughts only exist during the time of the convos. Anyways. As what I told her and what she told me back and in conclusion, he's just exactly what I like and more than I could imagine. More than I could ever imagine. She used the word "perfect". I prefer to stay neutral on this term not that I'm not biased here. Anyway my lingual is a mess and bleh. He's just, what I'll dream off but way beyond my imagination and need I remind you *shamelessly* my imagination is known to be pretty wild and broad.
She said over dinner if John has long hair I will be gone. As in heart attack kind of gone and as in the mama-can't-take-it-no-more kind of gone. Wish you could have seen him in person. He's truly one of a kind. Up till this day I still don't know what is it about him and what is it in him. It's just like I've been casted a spell, a curse, to fall in him like this. Like that.
Anyway, enough about magical connections and unicorn farts.
- More on that, hopefully you're not bored by now, or if you are, just tank with me for a moment longer. I am attracted to dark matters. (LOL) Dark souls. EMOs. But what I manage to attracts are often the sun-shiny grins-wearing kind of guys. Uh. Was just asking my friend from HK with big boobs (R) what should I do if guys I'm attracted to are way too smart for me but guys who aren't that smart just don't attract me at all. I know I've got my high standards (as you guys call it) to blame, but idk. It's not like I'm constantly looking for those (am I?), I am just attracted to that kind of wittiness and such. Ugh. But I don't feel like I'm up to their standards myself yet. Which is sad news and I should work on that but this is like what? 70% natural born and 30% you-gta-work-on-it-babe? Idk.
Anyways. 00:27 am now I should probably at least catch a shower. Hopefully your first day of work went (or goes) well. You can always text me when you're bored or gotta rant about it, I promise I will reply as soon as I see it.
Ciaos & 143,
Soya
x
PS. Jerk wished me hbd. Did not expect that. Rly looking forward to squish your boobies with sweaty hugs btw. Ew. Ly.
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