Sorry I couldn't come up with a better title this time, but that doesn't matter because I am hungover. I know what you’re talking about, like feeling stuff after
reading something intense. I would’ve been super depressed too if that happens
to be and funny I’m reading this after the suicide scare from my roommate last
night.
Going out was fun and crazy!
But the after-going-out was terrible.
I went out with vkg
and his friends and my roommate and two of my other friends initially, and then
the guys and the gals split up after we smoked and chilled for a bit in the
woods after a house party and we went off to a club and the guys went to some
sports bar thing. We met up with some European guys that we know and they got
us into the VIP area and my god those girls got wasted, and I had to make sure
everyone goes back to the safety of our rooms. And it took me like 25 mins to
convince this one friend to not go out anymore to some random guy’s apartment
and have some ‘after party’, and then we all crashed in our room. And then one
friend started crying about her ‘man whore’ ex-boyfriend. And the other one
started puking. And my rmm started her panic attack and I am the one slightly
sober, and I have no idea who to take care of in this fucking situation in 3 am
in the morning when my mind is drunk and tired and not functioning. Luckily the
puking girl went to the bathroom and the crying girl went to look after her so
I can focus on one person. And you know the rest, the fucking suicide attempt.
But yes, that was my first night out with my fake, and it was fun and then
awful. I declined kisses offers because I only want vkg’s lips and speaking of
his lips, I kinda want them now…fuck it he’s sleeping still I guess.
Since you were ranting about your
roommate, my roommate is uber messy lol, which kind of sucks, and has so many
problems too. So I told you about the drunk depressed/panic attack hence
suicide attempt last night that freaked the fuck out of me. Gosh, I had to hide
the knives and scissors, and I was worried she was going to do stupid shit
while I was asleep, I mean you know how deep a sleeper I am. But apart from
this time, you know about all the other times she gets depressed and wants to
talk. I try to be there for her, but sometimes all these negativity…and she
keeps complaining and complaining and never stops. And I don’t know what to do
with a person who complains 8.5 out of every 10 sentences she gets out her
mouth. But what I think you could do with your roommate is just talk to her. Americans
should be fine with this kind of talking if done nicely. Your rmm grew up in
America, so it should be fine I guess J
Or you can ask her sweetly and nicely too to ask her if she wanna help wash the
dishes. I mean, she used them and both of you don’t want bugs and things
crawling all over your room, right? Guess we both have roommate problems.
Go meet PA! Work your charm! Have you ever talked to him?
Like after what, two months of school? Girl you should try talk to him if you
haven’t already! You’re never getting what you want until you make that first
move! And I mean it’s not like you have to hump him right off that bat lol,
just be friends and have a chill convo, even a head nod or a smile. He would
think you’re a cool gal, I mean if he is not that black and white frat-blond
type, he would definitely appreciate the colorful you! I mean, no hard trying,
right? And well you don’t have to put all your bet on the first encounter or
even this guy, you now what I mean? There are so many fish in the sea, and
trust me, you will find some one because you are a gem. May that be PA or
someone else! So let me give you a task to accomplish until you write the next
letter. Go talk and be hi-bye friends with PA.
Yes, I am indeed having fun with vkg and life is pretty
awesome. I think we are pretty in sync now with our spending time together.
Like in the past, I tried so hard to not be needy and be obsessed over spending
time together, but now, I only well perhaps have to try a little tiny bit, and
I got my own gals to chill with now sometimes it’s me who said I got to go. He
is happy for me about that and he is happy that our needs are in sync now,
well, pretty much. And his friends like me lol I tried to make them like me,
and well I hope I did alright. He is a bit frustrated with his job search and
life now really, since he feels like he is here in Iowa City without a purpose,
so sometimes I try to cheer him up. But all in all, I am having a great time
with him, but I am also dreading the impending goodbye and the getting used to
not having him around again. I really love this man, it is the first time I’ve
ever felt this way, and I don’t know. I just am afraid that I won’t have him in
the end. He said he would think about it, about whether to become official or
not. I still don’t know what he defines us. I mean sometimes he said we are
dating, and sometimes he explains to me why we shouldn’t start dating now… And
there is a big probability that he will be working in Chicago, so we can get to
meet more often if that’s the case, and I will get to see you my girl more
often too I bet!
And because I am spending so much time with him, I am
lacking in my school work and have been skipping some classes. So fuck me, I’m
kind of screwed. Anyway, I should get back to working now. I am kind of afraid
what would happen when my roommate wakes. Ughhh. Hang in there girl! With PA,
with the roomie, with school, with everything. Can’t wait to see you
thanksgiving love!
Kisses and hugs and all things wonderful,
Joshi
P.S. I like how I found all dudes gif this time. okay bye.
