So first of all, HAPPY NEW YEAR LOVELY! 2014 is bygone and 2015 is the here and the now. Gosh time flies indeed. Do you remember last year this time, we were counting down together on skype? That felt like yesterday. 2014 is a hell of a crazy year for the both of us, right? A crazy year full of experiences, good ones and not so good ones. A crazy year of growth. I’m so glad that you are in with me through the past year because, honestly, I wouldn’t have made it through like this if you weren’t there for me.
Sorry I haven’t been writing you much lately. Now that I have plenty of time during winter break I thought I should sit down and reply to your letters. Anyway, lets get into the real issue you were talking about in your previous letters and our texts these days. Boxers.
First off, I have to say you are sooooo cute this time when you’re crushing on this boxers guy. Unlike the past with PA or with WI (I had to think what his short-form was, we haven’t talked about WI for so long lol) where you seemed desperately sad and heavy, this time with Boxers, you seem more light hearted and erm…cute. Really. Maybe because you have opened up and changed after art school. Maybe because you’ve gained more confidence and have found yourself after going to art school. You are just so cute. And from what I’ve stalked about Boxers and from how I know you, you guys seem a good match. Like you guys seem both a little crazy and a little spontaneous and very much artsy.
I know, I know he has a girlfriend and you can’t tell if you are in the friend zone or if you’re getting close. But as time goes, things will unfold the way it should be. So don’t fret and don’t worry! If it’s boxers in the end, it’ll be boxers. If it’s not, then you’ll find another guy just as cool and artsy and right for you. I mean you should totally try to get him because, why not? Girls can make moves too. What I am saying is don’t let it bother you. (Lol I say don’t let it bother you, but I am totally letting my ldr bother me. But that’s another story.)
So much can happen in one semester. Remember the last spring semester? I felt like my life was a mess with HHG and VKG, but now I feel like my life is all in place (at least most of it). I cried, I was lost and I felt guilty and hurt and confused. But now, I feel like I know what I’m doing and all those have been lessons I’ve learnt and I don’t regret a thing. . I didn’t even say an official goodbye to HHG, lol. Like the ‘first’ guy in my life is just gone, flown back to South America and I don’t even care anymore. Things that we thought, I thought were big deals and big pains are simply experiences. It has been a good year.
Plus, girl you’re a gem. Any guy will be lucky to have you in their lives and I’m not just saying it. If I am a dude, I will totally date you hehee because I need some crazy in my life. If Boxers is smart enough, he should’ve dumped his gf and gone with you! But yea, what I’m trying to say is, girl, you’ll be fine! Just wait and your future will unfold itself in front of you.
You texted me yesterday saying that you admire me for going long distance with vkg. Honestly, I just don’t know any other way so long distance it is. It is really hard though. Ugh. Both of us have our moments when we are tired and frustrated of the distance, but we just somehow pick each other up and carry on. It’s tough. Especially at night when the darkness comes and I curl up in bed holding my knees against my chest and wish he was here. Especially when his poor communicating skills get to me. Especially when I need him and he’s not here. But I am still happy. Well, happy and sad sometimes, but it’s worth it. I feel loved and cared for. And I hate how I can’t stay mad at him. And I hate how we can only meet up for a few days
Funny though. Come to think of it, we are all born alone. Not alone alone, I mean we all have families and stuff. But romance-wise, we are all born single and alone. We are all perfectly fine being single until we found someone and we felt like we couldn’t live without them. We grew to need them and they invade our lives with love and tears, and we began to believe that we need those love and tears to get by. It’s quite silly really. How someone has become the center of our lives and losing them doesn't seem like an option at all. We fell in love and we can't go back anymore. After tasting the sweetness and the bitterness, we can't go back anymore. We were all perfectly fine before ; we were all perfectly fine being single. But we weren’t fine with being alone after. We should be though, we should be. I don’t really know where I’m getting at here. It’s just a random thought lol.
More like we can live alone, we can die alone.
Sorry for going all deep and philosophical in this post. Guess I’m just kinda reflective since it’s the end of the year and everything is drawing to a conclusion and I’m kinda evaluating my year and sorting out my life with all this free time. Anyway, 2014 has been a good year for me. It has been a year of learning, and I have grown and changed a lot. And you too, have changed and grown so much, grown comfortable in your skin and who you are. Proud of you girl! We’ll stick together for the coming year and years to come and I don’t even know what to say anymore but I love you!
just been looping this heehee pumped up pumped up
P.S. Gahhh I'm so excited for nyc with vkg this coming monday!
